Why did the lawyer cross the road?

If you think our headline sounds like the start of a bad joke, you’re already getting warm. Kind of.

It did spring from a jokey lunchtime conversation at Setfords HQ. During that discussion, one of the team summarised an article from the job site indeed.com. The article is about the following recruitment question: ‘If you were an animal, what would you be?’ Even if you’ve managed to avoid this interview tripwire, you’ll probably know someone who’s been wrong-footed by it.

Which, of course, is partly the point. According to the article, one of the two main reasons interviewers ask such incongruous questions is to see how you react to the unexpected.

Animal attraction

The second reason this particular question pops up more often than a meerkat is so the interviewer can work out how you see yourself. For example, if you’re the sort of person who spots potential challenges from a mile off, you may say you’d be a giraffe. Bingo! This quality is suitable for so many roles it’s actually quite surprising we don’t see lofty leaf eaters in our workplaces.

Alternatively, you may say you’d be a dog if, like ‘man’s best friend’, you see yourself as sociable. You could add that dogs have boundless energy and a positive attitude. If you go for a canine response, don’t be surprised if the interviewer jumps up to pat you on the head before searching around for some treats to give you.

You get the general idea. Be the animal you think the interviewer is looking for, and prepare to hand in your notice with your current employer.

Of course, having talked at length about cute animals with appealing traits, the conversation turned on its head. Most of the team felt that one of the animals they’d least want to be like is a battery hen.

You may think we were all missing a trick. Battery hens are highly productive. They’re low maintenance – no need to go searching for their produce. You’ll find that right under their derrières. Also, they can work in a shoebox. All of which would appeal to certain bosses. Actually, to keep in with the hen theme, let’s call these bosses the kings of the coup. “A battery hen,” you can almost hear them saying. “You’re gonna fit right in, chick.”

Sorry lawyers

Sorry. We really must apologise if any of this causes offence or resonates with you. We know being cooped up in a small, city-centre office space must be hugely uncomfortable. Especially if you happen to be reading this during our current heatwave. We agree entirely that being asked to work shoulder-to-shoulder with colleagues in stifling conditions should be outlawed.

Undoubtedly, you can now see how some farms and firms coincide. We know there are lawyers out there working in very intense conditions. They feel they are only valued on what they produce, rather than who they are. They work enormously long hours. Hours that are egg-timed into six-minute units. Like battery hens, they’re asked to produce, produce, produce…

Time for a change. Time to go free-range

On the bright side we can offer a ‘free-range’ alternative. Setfords is ideal for lawyers looking for a better work-life balance. We actually encourage you not to work relentlessly long hours. You get to choose your own schedule. You also choose where you work from. Nor do we have any billing targets. You’ll be free from management responsibilities. You’ll benefit from unrivalled support. Our uncapped earning potential means you’ll start loving your career again.

Why did the lawyer cross the road? Because she’d had enough of being confined where she was and saw a far more appealing alternative on the other side. Told you you were warm when you thought it sounded like a bad joke.

Here’s what some former penned-in lawyers think…

“The best thing for me about working for Setfords is flexibility. I can work from home, or wherever I choose, at the times that I choose. I can take advantage of a lovely sunny day to take my dogs for a long walk without needing to take time off or ask permission. I can visit friends across the country. Spend time with family. I no longer need to book time off for the ultra-marathon events I enjoy taking part in. Nor do I have to compromise my holiday time with my husband,” says property solicitor, Sarah Thomson.

“I recommend consultancy at Setfords for many reasons. It gives you a better work-life balance. It gives you greater work satisfaction. It can boost your self-esteem. It has made me a happier and more confident lawyer,” says Thoweetha Shah.

“Since joining Setfords, I feel much more relaxed, and my wellbeing has improved ten-fold,” adds Richard Hiron


Is consultancy for me?

If you want to find out more about becoming a consultant with us, get in touch. We are happy to conduct interviews remotely for suitable, UK-qualified candidates with five or more years’ experience. If you’re a good fit, you’ll be joining a team that was created for lawyers to do their best work.

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